The Power of Words “Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atomic bombs”–Pearl Strachan.
Few people can claim that they have never said anything they do not regret, while even fewer can claim that they have never been hurt by words themselves
So why do we continue this cycle of bad feelings and hurt? The victim leaves the situation feeling neglected, while the offender often feels remorse and guilt.
I think there are 3 primary issues that are responsible for this irrational behavior.
Lack of awareness of others, misunderstandings, and emotional anger.
A person is sometimes so completely encompassed in his own personal issues, he temporarily loses awareness of those around him. He subconsciously loses focus on those near to him, as he is concentrated on his own burden exclusively.
John F. Kennedy, in his inaugural address on January 20, 1961, presents his vision for America as a model world power. He announces, “Let all our neighbors know that we shall join with them to oppose aggression or subversion anywhere in the Americas. And let every other power know that this hemisphere intends to remain the master of its own home.” The last words of this quote reveal its connection to insensitivity “… Remain the master of its own home.”
A homeowner is so busy working on a project in his garage that he leaves his doors unlocked and windows open. A passing burglar may take swift notice and act on the opportunity.
This is not to say that total immersion in a task is inherently bad.
Rather, a balance in necessary.
It is acceptable to be heavily involved in one’s necessary work, yet it is not acceptable to allow this to lead to neglecting all other responsibilities.
To remain a true master over our actions, we must remember the message of JFK, ”No outsider may persecute us, nor will we allow persecution within our country. It stands to reason, then, that we will not allow one American to oppress another American, either. No! We are masters of our free country, our home.” So, let us remember to be “masters” over our words, even when we feel overwhelmed by our burdens.
Misunderstandings are a second root of potentially harmful speech.
That which may deemed complimentary to one, may be downright insulting to another.
Self depreciating and crude humor serve as wonderful examples to this point.
Many of the following statements can be interpreted as both complimentary and insulting.
“They always have such a clean house.”
“He’s always eating.”
“She tells it like it is, you know. There’s no monkey business with her.”
“He’s such an easygoing guy. Stuff all over the place. Nothing bothers him.”
While these descriptions may paint an entirely appropriate picture to some, they may be deemed offensive to others. Therefore, we must choose our words carefully, so that the person to whom we are speaking does not interpret our “ambiguous compliments” negatively.
Nonetheless, it is still the responsibility of the receiving party to try and interpret the statements to merit, not fault.
Rabbi Aryeh Levin of blessed memory (dubbed the "Father of Prisoners" for his visits to members of the Jewish underground imprisoned in the Central Prison of Jerusalem, in the Russian Compound, during the British Mandate) exemplified this trait. He saw only the good in people, even those for whom others rarely had a kind word.
“That man,” R’ Levin would say, “is such a good person. You simply don’t know him like I know him…”. “But R’ Levin,” his listener would protest. “People say that he…”. R’ Levin would interject, “People also say things about me that are not true. One has to train himself to hear only the good, otherwise his ears will be so stuffed with evil talk that there will be no room for truth to enter!”
Despite good intentions, occasionally, people do realize that they are being abrasive or offensive but are simply too angry to care. This is the worst cause and there are no excuses for this. The primary way to prevent this from happening is to improve the character trait of patience. To combat the urge to be mean may require that we walk away from the situation. If we fail at this however and do spew nasty, offensive language, it is our sole responsibility to try to repair it. This can be achieved through sincere apology, but even then, there is no guarantee that it will be accepted.
Strachan’s comparison of words to atom bombs is remarkably accurate. Words and atomic bombs have much in common. The nuclear technology and capabilities to make an atom bomb are the same capabilities that can fuel our homes and produce productive energy. The same is true with words; when used for the best they can cause productive improvement. On the flipside however, both have tremendous powers for the negative. An atom bomb can destroy lives, families and wreak havoc. Words have the exact same potential. And just as atomic bombs leave radiation that continues to damage well into the future, not all damage caused by words can be reversed.
It is high time that we use our gift of speech exclusively for the positive.
People have a general disposition toward kindness and goodness, yet thoughtless speech can override it.
By being more aware of others, mastering our emotions and exercising caution with the phrases we use, we will transform our words into the ultimate tool for good.
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